This is just a fair warning to all of you innocent bystanders out there, I am in full on mood swing mode over here. I think my family is scared of me. Today has been better, only one random crying spell (while reading a thank you card, seriously), but the past two days were pretty bad. Yesterday I melted down into a full on sobbing fest and bawled into my pillow for a good several minutes and then left to run errands and cried and cried in the car while driving to Walmart. Sheesh. Part of that meltdown was because of all the previous mood swings that had caused me some bad mom moments so then I was feeling guilty on top of emotional, bad bad bad. I guess all the hormones on top of all the discomfort and the fears of how I'm going to handle another kid when the ones I have send me off the deep end on a regular basis are just boiling over! Don't get me wrong, I am WAY excited for this baby, I can hardly stand it, the countdown is constant in my head, I just sometimes wonder how its going to all work out. I think I will be home bound forever more after she comes! We'll probably save all sorts of money cause I'm not taking all the kids to the store ever again, I'm quite sure of it. ;) The baby preparations are definitely all done, I bought a few more diapers and one newborn outfit yesterday, I'm nervous that if she actually does come 2 weeks early all the clothes I have will be too big, so I think I have a grand total of 3 or 4 newborn outfits now (can't be too optimistic that she'll be smaller than her siblings.) I was reading in my pregnancy book today that it was a good time to pack for the hospital, but of course that is advice for people who actually go into labor, so I'm going to try and hold off a little longer. I'll probably do it next week so that I'll be ready at my next appointment in case the doctor wants to get things moving then (optimistic thinking again, but manageable at least :) ). Every time I sit around at this point just hoping my water will break so I can just get the waiting over with, but I've never had that luck before, so I'm sure I won't again. So anyway, the gist of all of this is I'm impatient, as usual, moody, and uncomfortable, so be warned. Please let the next 21 days go fast (or let the doctor move me up)!!! If anyone has good suggestions for passing the time, bring them on!
p.s. Thanks to my wonderful husband and my great neighbors who have helped me and the kids through these last few days and who will continue to help me for the next few weeks and after the baby comes, I don't know what I would do without you, truly!