Friday, February 27, 2009

Daddy's Got a Brand New Car!


So, Ryan finally broke down and bought himself a new car! He's been driving his old Prism with no bells or whistles for forever and decided it was time to upgrade, and boy did he! He claims its because of his "Quarter Life Crisis." So we are now the proud owners of a 2003 BMW Z4! Ryan's cousin Steve got us a killer deal, so we couldn't resist. Ryan had to fly to New Mexico on Tuesday night so he could pick up the car from a dealer in Albuquerque on Wednesday and drive it home. Ryan is like a really big kid in a really big toy store. He is SO thrilled with his new baby. He's still searching for the perfect German girl's name to give the car. :)

But, he is not alone in his love for the car. The kids think it is pretty cool as well. They call it "Daddy's Race Car." James talks about it all day and loves nothing more than to get in the drivers seat and drive! He is definitely a lot like his daddy. And you should see their faces when he puts the top down... And I suppose I have to admit I can't wait to go on a date in our hot little two seater. :)

Monday, February 23, 2009

Change

Here is the long awaited unveil of the new haircut! I'm still getting the hang of styling it and forgot to take a picture after the hair dresser styled it, but you get the idea! I went with a really dark mocha color and an a-line cut. I really like it so far, its a good change! My family still doesn't recognize me since I went from really highlighted to really dark, but its fun! The pictures aren't great, ignore my desperate need for make-up.

It actually looks longer than it is in this picture cause of the shadow on the wall behind me...


Friday, February 20, 2009

Yesterday I...

Yesterday I got out of bed.
Yesterday I took a shower.
Yesterday I got dressed in something besides sweats.
Yesterday I didn't cry.
Yesterday I cleaned.
Yesterday I ran errands.
Yesterday I returned my pregnancy books to the Library.
Yesterday I played with my kids.
Yesterday I talked to friends.
Yesterday I actually made dinner.
Yesterday I bathed the kids and cleaned the fish bowl.
Yesterday I decided change will be good for me.
Yesterday I worked on paint colors for Beth's new room.
Yesterday I decided to get my hair cut.

Yesterday I decided I will survive.
The sadness is still there, the questions, the guilt, but I know I'll be okay.

"But behold, all things have been done in the wisdom of him who knoweth all things."
2 Nephi 2:24

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Loss

Most people don't blog about this sort of thing, but I need to talk about it, so I will. I just had a miscarriage. The baby I've been longing for for quite some time decided it was not time to make an appearance yet. I'm devastated.

I started bleeding last week, that's why my mom was here to help me, I stayed off my feet and took it super easy, but it was too late. The doctor thinks the baby didn't grow for long and it took until last week for my body to get rid of it. But, I had stopped bleeding several days ago and was feeling like I still had some morning sickness, so I got my hopes up that all was well. It wasn't.

I had this cute blog all planned to announce my pregnancy. Pictures of the pregnancy test and everything. The plans for the nursery and Beth's room were already under way. My lists of baby names are extensive. And most of all, I just felt a lot of love already for the tiny being inside me. I'm so sad.

I know Heavenly Father has a plan for our family and that everything will workout the way its supposed to, but its still hard. I know millions of people have survived it before, and I will too, but it still stinks. I just feel like I've been waiting for a long time for this baby already, and now the wait continues. And now, of course, I have fear that this could happen again, but I know I can't worry about it, but that's easier said than done.

Thanks again to everyone who has reached out with help and love and encouragement. I don't know how I would do this without my wonderful support system. I apologize in advance for my lack of being productive and helpful at all this week, and for all the crying you will probably see me do. Its how I cope.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Helpful

My mom has been staying with us for two days to help me out. I'll get into the reasons for needing help in another post, but I just wanted to do a post to say thank you. I never knew one person could do so much in two days! My dishes are all clean. All of them, like as soon as I dirty them. My laundry is all clean. All of it, and its even put away. My coat closet is cleaned out. My floors are vacuumed. My linen closet is organized. My fridge is totally clean, like take out all of the shelves and drawers and wash them kind of clean...I just need her to stay a few more days and clean my closet and the junk drawers and we'll be in business! Just kidding mom. I really don't know what I would do without her. I would also like to thank all of my friends and family you have been helping me out, or checking on me, or feeding us, or taking care of my kids. You are all the greatest! I promise I will return the favor if you ever need it. I am very blessed to have so much help and love around me all the time. Thank you, thank you!

Monday, February 9, 2009

Time to Decorate!

I have been wanting to decorate up the kids' rooms for a while. Its been on my mind like crazy lately, and I've spent ALL morning looking up ideas on the internet. My poor kids have been ignored, but I feel inspired! I think I've come up with a brilliant idea for Beth's room. The problem is, I come up with brilliant ideas fairly often, but I'm not great at making them turn out how I want...so hopefully I can pull it together and not break the bank in the process. I can totally get out of control if I let myself on projects like this. But I found almost everything I need on E-Bay, so as long as Ryan will go along with it, I think I can do it! I'll try and keep you posted as I actually start work on it at some point! If any of you out there are creative and good at actually making things look good, let me know, I may have to hire you for a consult.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Oddity...


This is my son who is afraid of heights. Like, big time. You can't even lift him up in the air. And yet doing a headstand on top of the dining room table? So fun! Weird kid. haha.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Dancing Queen!


Beth started her first Ballet class a couple of weeks ago. It is pretty darn cute! I have to admit getting there and getting home and entertaining James while we are there, is sometimes a hassle, and the first week Beth wasn't so into it. But now she seems to love it, and she is ALL about the ballet clothes and shoes. The girls are all young, and most of them don't have a clue what the teacher is asking them to do, but they all love to dance around and be ballerinas. Beth's good friend from Joy School is in the class with her and that makes it all the more fun. It's exciting that Beth is now old enough to start trying things out. I keep making a list in my head of all the things I want her to try and I keep wondering which thing she will be world champion in. Hopefully I don't turn into an obnoxious mom that way... I'm trying to keep it under control :)

Her class, Beth is the one of the far left, isn't she a lovely ballerina?
The girl standing out front is her Joy-School friend.
Check out that 1st Position!
3rd Position!