Wednesday, September 7, 2011
My Poor Boy
Today James was supposed to start his last year of preschool. Instead he spent the day at Primary Children's learning how to live with diabetes. Its not fair. No 4-year-old boy should have to try and understand why he has to get shots multiple times a day, or why he has to wait to eat until he's been poked two or three times. No one should have to be his parents practice pin-cushion. Its not fair. Its a life long disease. And he's only 4. It will be part of every memory for him. I know there is nothing I could do to prevent it, but I can't help but feel responsible when I see my boy in the hospital. Did I mention its not fair? I know that it is much easier to control these days, and that maybe a cure could be found at some point. I know there are worse things to be diagnosed with. But, none of this knowledge makes it easier. I just feel so upset. But, I also know that I am so lucky. I have the most amazing support system. I have 3 close friends/family members with children with diabetes who are open books for our questions and insecurities, as well as innumerable other people just there for me for any reason. I had 40+ email/facebook responses and many texts and phone calls today from people looking out for me. That's love. I know we will be ok. I know we will get the hang of it. I know we will be stronger for it all. But right now I'm upset, overwhelmed and sad. I'm just sad. My poor boy. Its not fair.