Tuesday, August 21, 2012

My Morning Epiphany

I got up to workout this morning, like I do most mornings. It was tough. Really tough. I just couldn't do everything I wanted to, my legs felt like led, my lungs weren't cooperating, it just wasn't fun. In the middle of my workout I was having a little pity party in my head. I've been working really really hard for about 9 months, and its still SO HARD! I know that's kind of funny to say, since I know that if it wasn't hard it wouldn't be worth it, but still in the middle of it today, I just wanted it to feel easy after all the work i've put in! Just then the song  "The Climb"came on on my ipod, a song i've heard a million times, but today it struck me to the core (Don't make fun of me for having Miley Cyrus on my ipod!). Here are some of the lyrics:
I can almost see itThat dream I am dreamingBut there's a voice inside my head saying"You'll never reach it"
Every step I'm takingEvery move I make feelsLost with no directionMy faith is shaking
But I gotta keep tryingGotta keep my head held high
There's always gonna be another mountainI'm always gonna wanna make it moveAlways gonna be a uphill battleSometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get thereAin't about what's waiting on the other sideIt's the climb
The struggles I'm facingThe chances I'm takingSometimes might knock me downBut no, I'm not breaking
I may not know itBut these are the moments thatI'm gonna remember most, yeahJust gotta keep going
And I, I got to be strongJust keep pushing on
I almost immediately teared up. That is exactly what my life is like. Its what everyone's life is like! Life is never going to be easy. Whether its exercise or motherhood or life in general. Its not meant to be easy! Its meant to be a test, a battle, a mountain climb! Sometimes the road is rocky and steep, sometimes its flat with beautiful vistas, sometimes its a downhill fun ride, buts its something you have to keep pushing through, you can't just coast, ever. I sure wish we could sometimes, but that's not what life is for. So, I finished my workout. I'm gonna keep pushing and trying in all those areas of my life where I struggle and wish it could just feel easy, because I want to improve! I want to be a better stronger person in all areas of my life and that's what its going to take. Work. And the work is worth it, the work is what changes us. It's all about the climb!

I hope this isn't too cheesy, but it sure hit a chord with me today and maybe it will with someone else too. :)

Saturday, August 18, 2012

30 Years!

How is it possible that I have been alive for 30 years? I still feel like a kid. Seriously. Sometimes I wonder if I should feel like a grown up yet. Don't get me wrong, I have PLENTY of grown up moments- bills, insurance, mortgage, kids, health issues, cleaning... Sometimes being a grown up isn't very fun. But on a day to day basis, I still feel like a teenager. I'm just kicking along, enjoying life, trying to find the fun wherever its hiding, trying to make friends, and keep friends and be liked. You know?

What a year its been! I feel like I've taken life by the horns this year. I finally took control, stopped complaining, stopped making excuses and just got stuff done. Not that i've been perfect, far from it, but I feel like I made big progress. I'm so proud of myself for being able to say that! The last few years on my birthday I've looked back at my goals with a lot of disappointment, I always felt like I failed. NOT THIS TIME!

A few things I accomplished since this time last year:

-I have lost about 26 pounds.
-I competed in 2 triathlons, besting my previous personal best by about 25 minutes.
-I ran several 5k's without walking.
-I bought a road bike and have peddled it approximately 350 miles in the last 4 months.
-I swam approximately 70 miles.

Obviously those are all from one area of my life, but I feel like taking control of my body, and learning to take care of myself has made me a better person all around. I'm being a better mother, a better wife and a better me. I'm still far from perfection, but I'm happy to be happy and moving forward finally. Ryan and I also made huge improvements to how we track our finances, that has helped us tremendously. We also started a new thing to help us keep our house in better order, and that is helping me a ton too.

I've really been looking forward to turning 30. I feel like its a new beginning. A new decade! I'm looking forward to experiencing my family in this next stage of our lives. My kids are getting older and more independent. I love seeing them grow into their personalities, I can't wait to see how they keep evolving. In just a short few years all of my kids will be in school and I'll have some spare time, imagine that! I'm also looking forward to what I can become. I've experienced just a taste of what i'm capable of and I love it! I want to keep pushing myself to be better and stronger. I have big goals for the future and I'm seriously looking forward to knocking them down one at a time. No more fear! No more doubting myself! Bring it on 30's, i'm ready for you!

Some goals for the coming year:
-Compete in 2-3 more triathlons and improve my times.
-Run a couple more 5k's.
-Run a 10k.
-Feel like a runner! :)
-Create my best body.
-Find my spiritual center.
-Revel in the joy of life and motherhood.

Just for some photo proof of my progress, here are a few pictures taken last Summer:

And recent photos:

(Pictures courtesy of my awesome friend Amy Beardshall! More to come!)